


Love Me Blue

by snapbackmalik



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, there's fluff in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 05:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13651944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapbackmalik/pseuds/snapbackmalik
Summary: The first time Louis met Zayn, everything was gray.They were four, maybe five years old and didn't know any better than to dip their callow feet in the deep browns of the damp earth. Zayn was wearing a dapper yellow raincoat, almost brighter than the sun itself and Louis was soiled from head to toe.Since then, everything in their life had been vibrant and full of color - until things fell back into dull gray and white noise.Or the one where Louis loses Zayn and looks to colors for answers.





	Love Me Blue

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Zayn's song "Blue".   
> Also louis is a typical dramatic capricon sorry not sorry. 
> 
> -
> 
> I do not own One Direction or any characters mentioned and this is a work of fiction.

“your bones

hold a skeleton

with no help 

from a spine” 

\- zayn malik

 

Louis feels small and it has nothing to do with the size of Manhattan. 

Or the fact that he's all alone in the city with few friends to rely on. That he's too much of a spineless coward to face them after what happened. 

_"I can't marry you Zayn, I'm sorry."_

Louis grits his teeth and shoves the memory to the back of his mind.  
The golden hues of the setting sun behind him as he slammed the door and ran away, leaving his one love behind. The cold, blue message on the screen of his phone saying the two words Louis had feared most would be said: It's over. 

Louis stepped on to the sidewalk, staring absently at a chalk drawing of a stop sign, obviously done by the clumsy skill of a child. 

He had once asked Zayn why red was love, as he had traced the fresh, burning skin around Zayn's new ink lovingly. A gun on his waist.  
"To me, love is blue." Zayn had said.  
"And why's that?"  
"Because love is supposed to be calm. It's supposed to be the peace you feel when you look into the depths of your lover's blue eyes. Know what red is? Anger. Hurt. If loving is painful, I'd rather not love at all."

Louis would later pretend to not notice the angry red blotches of graffiti sprayed all around the city, after the breakup, on sides of abandoned buildings and tunnels that only Louis and Zayn knew about.

Louis opened the door of an all-too-familiar pub and walked in.  
Of all the people tied into his and Zayn's story, he figures Niall would be the most sympathetic to his cause. 

"We're closed," Niall says, his back turned to Louis as he cleans the shelves of differently labelled bottles of alcohol.  
"Should probably lock your doors then," Louis says in a weak attempt at a joke. "Wouldn't want an intruder in here, would ya?" 

Niall turns around and gasps softly, his glasses dangling on the edge of his nose. "Shit. You're alive."  
"Barely," replies Louis, with a weak grin. Niall comes around the corner and pulls him into a tight hug.  
They break apart, Niall's hand still latched on to Louis' elbow.  
"Mate," says Niall, rubbing his eyes as though he can't believe Louis is here of all places and that his tired eyes might be tricking him. "I thought you'd left the city. We all did."  
Louis doesn't ask who Niall means by "all" but from Niall's expression, Louis discerns that the aforementioned group excluded Zayn.  
"How is he?" Louis wants to ask, but he knows he's not ready yet.  
Before Niall says anything, Louis shakes his head.  
"Actually, think you can give me a beer before you ask me any questions?"  
Niall nods and pulls out a glass.  
They discuss sports and weather and all topics that didn't include a failed engagement or a breakup and Louis feels more human than he has in the past few weeks.  
After a contemplative silence, Niall bites. "Liam's downright mad at ya."  
Louis isn't surprised but he brushes it off. "He's going to have to get in line then."

They drink and Louis drowns himself in more alcohol than necessary. Niall lets him - partly because he knows Louis is too stubborn and partly because if there's alcohol , Louis will talk. And right now, Niall decides, Louis needs to talk.

"Louis," he hesitates, "How-how are ya really?"  
"Want the truth?" slurs Louis, but rambles on without giving space to Niall to answer. "Of course you want the truth. I've been a ghost, haven't I? Nobody knows where I've been."  
Niall is silent, allowing Louis to rant his heart out.  
"I didn't leave the city," he explains. "I've just been walking around, figuring shit out. Avoiding people."  
"I'm a coward, Niall. I love Zayn. I fucking love him . But he pulled out that ring and I couldn't stay. Heck, I couldn't stay. I ran because I'm afraid of how much I love Zayn and how much could go wrong and that's pathetic. Pathetic."  
"You're not a coward," defends Niall. "You were just surprised." 

But it wasn't a surprise, was the thing. Zayn and Louis had the kind of love that either had to burn out eternally or stomp flat to smoke. And Louis chose the latter. Chose the latter over a future they could have easily had. 

Louis couldn't forget the look on Zayn's face. Hurt, confusion, anger. Red. 

Louis remains silent, definitely looking more sober than he was seconds ago. He stands up. "I've got an idea." 

"Where are you going?" kicks in Niall, all sorts of worry coming from his voice.  
"There's no need to worry about me, Niall," he snaps and then softens. "Just don't worry about me."  
He murmurs a thanks and leaves before Niall can badger him further

-

 

The skyline is a bluish purple and aside from a low buzz from speeding cars, the city is silent from where Louis is standing.  
He isn't sure what he's doing if he's being honest. He's on the rooftop of an abandoned building that's just across Zayn's apartment. Their apartment - before Louis left.  
The lights by his window are on and Louis can only hope that this works. Behind Louis, there's a faint presence of paint on the walls. It used to say _Zayn and Louis kissed here, among other places_ in faint pinks, greens and yellows and beside it was a tiny _Zap!_ .  
It's gone now and Louis wonders if it was the building workers' job or if Zayn was mad enough to erase every trace of them from the city. He traces his fingers over the ghost of the pink-greens. He shakes the paint can, raising a hand to cover his nose. He sprays shakily. He was never as good at this as Zayn was but he does it anyway.  
The electric blue takes a couple of coatings before the paint can visibly spell out _M-I-S-S Y-O-U_ five times in a row, one beneath the other. It's simple and blatant and not even half as poetic as the stuff Zayn comes up with but Louis hopes it's enough.  
He hits the next building, and the next and every other building in front of Zayn's apartment until he hears the cops' sirens. And he keeps listening to the sirens as they get louder and louder.

 

.

It's three hours later and Louis almost gives up on his idea and considers calling Niall to bail him out when Zayn walks in to the station.  
His stomach jolts and he can't believe how _good_ Zayn looks in his leather jacket and olive green shirt and those painted jeans that they made together on one hazy afternoon.  
Zayn talks to the cops, nodding and gesturing. Louis sighs impatiently, the suspense growing on him. Zayn finally makes his way to Louis, sitting handcuffed in his chair. He watches Louis for a while quietly, his expression unreadable.  
"Well?" demands Louis. "Did you see the signs?"  
Zayn stays quiet a minute longer, possibly to tick Louis off. Fair, thinks Louis.  
"I think a text would've sufficed."  
Louis looks up and Zayn is smiling.  
"What did you think?" asks Louis, softly, and maybe a bit shyly.  
"Your graffiti skills could use some work."  
Louis scoffs and Zayn sits down beside him. "Good thing your boyfriend knows a thing or two about spray paint."  
Louis looks at Zayn, unbelievably happy and shocked in the most pleasant of ways. He couldn't explain how he was feeling even if he wanted to.  
"Zayn, I'm sorry," he says, suddenly, ashamed.  
"It's alright, babe, I understand," says Zayn, grabbing his hand, intertwining their fingers. "Just don't ruin any more buildings, yeah?"  
"Yeah, yeah," Louis rolls his eyes. "Gonna bail me out or what?"  
"Maybe. There's just one thing I've got to do."  
Zayn turns to Louis and grabs the soft brown hair at the back of his head, pressing his lips to Louis'. They break apart and Louis is so euphoric he can only admire how life threw him a second chance. Zayn gets up to pay bail but Louis grabs his hand.  
"Wait, Zayn," he says, awkwardly getting on his knees with the help of his handcuffed hands. "Will you marry me?"  
"Shit, thought you were having a stroke or something," says Zayn. And then his eyes soften to the most beautiful brown Louis has ever seen and relief washes over him. "Yeah,Lou, I'll marry you. Now get up, you look stupid." But as Zayn walks away, Louis notices his wide smile. 

And now, Louis feels _blue_ , in the best possible way.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic and i'm so proud of myself lol


End file.
